calL me CHRiS!

to my boys... lol

2004-10-04T20:51:00.000-07:00

B2K - "Outro (boys to the end)"

"We been through thick and thin
But we still here
No matter what goes down
We are still friends til the end
Ups and downs
Yeah dats a hard-knock life
Yeah its ride or die
Cause we are boys for life
ya heard"

thats all... lol. ON_E
-kj

Shady... like a tree in summer

2004-10-04T19:14:00.000-07:00

time:: 7:17 PM
song:: WARREN G - "i want it all"
mood:: blah

hahaha... holy shit has it been a while! huh guys? well anyway, that's besides the point. i usually sit here on my computer looking through pages on myspace and xangas and having conversations with multiple people and i think, "damn, it was fun writing in my blog." yeah, i always say that im going to write here but... do i? i guess not, sorry reader, lol. i know that you've been waiting, my bad. i went through alot of hair styles also, but i think imma grow it and then dragon ball it out. that should be done by december? lol... i hope!
chk my previous hair styles people, im PIMP! from bald - fade - growing - spiked all around

song:: AKON - "locked up"
anyway, summer is over... damn! but what a rush. school is here and i find myself in my usual ditch i dig too early in the school year. all i do is chill, slowly falling behind in my classes... but, i have decided to change all that this year. i started to pick up the slack lately. even though i've been sick and stuff, i still try, and now since im almost 100% better, im putting more effort in school. good boy now huh? oh well...
during this summer... alot happened:
a) relationship ended
b) met new people and got in touch with old friends
c) started dating =)
d) went out alot
e) got closer w/ some people
f) found out who my true friends are
g) got into shit
h) finished some business
i) lived life how it should be lived, to the max
i chilled alot with "DPRC" and then stuff happened. mostly because of myself. i guess, i like to be the center of attention and stuff like that, but ill talk about that later on. i also chilled with my hommies albert (who i havent seen or talked to since confirmation), armen (hommie i met last summer), and mike (havent spoken to since like what, 8th grade? lol). on top of that, i chilled alot with my bosco friends and met some walnut people. everyone made this a great summer, thanks guys/gals! i played bball alot, hit up random places from LA - hollywood - pasadena - glendale - burbank - wesco - covina - san gab - m park - whittier - downey - pico - rosemead - chino - montclaire - and so on... geez, that was fun! whenever i went out, it was all in good nature and tried to have a good time. thank you guys/gals!
song:: Big Tymers - "this is how we do it"
the dating scene was really wierd, lol. but it was cool, i met alot of people, but sad to say... im a jerk? lol. i guess i went through too many girls too fast. everytime i went out, i practically tried to talk to a new girl and take it from there, but it was fun. hey hey hey, well, i remained friends with all of you and that was cool. having more and more friends is dope. anyway, my current status shall remain unknown for now, hahhaha.... some people know whats up, and if you want to know, feel free to ask ;-)
song:: Jojo - "leave, get out"
thats right! i bump kiis FM, lmao! anyway, i think i have some issues. well, the ones other than the school stuff. im so lazy, i hate school, i like to go out instead! but shizzLe, i havent ditched any classes! at most, i just go late by a little while. i just need to put more and more effort in guys, and i need some encouragement.
song:: Juvenile - "she get it from her mama"
song:: Lil Rob - "neighborhood music"
song:: Nate Dogg - "i got love (remix)"
song:: 213 - "so fly"
but to main point of this post.... i found out, i am SHADY! yeah, and im self concious and im not afraid to admit it... i have been most shady to my hommies, the ones who were there for me, and for what? i ask that question to myself so many times today... you guys have NO IDEA. but thanks for the confrontation. i like being confronted.... helps me express myself and get feedback. i think, maybe i am a dramaking? these are my BROTHERS, for i am not alone... at bosco, i made more than friends, i made brothers. these guys mean a lot to me, there were there for me when i needed them and i dont even know whats up now.

song:: Warren G - "this DJ"
song:: Warren G - "i want it all"
song:: Warren G - "summertime in the LBC"
see, these guys, damn... ive known all of them since freshman yr and stuff... wow, kinda long time ago. now, we're in the 5th yr program together... yet it seems kind of distant, do you guys agree? well, if you dont, i still feel kind of distant for some reason. i dunno why... i know we all went through different things during summer and all that... some good, some bad. but now, nothing is the same. at the beginning of summer i was like, "damn, i cant wait to hit up here and there with the hommies. shit is gone be fun!" and now its like, "hmmm, i wonder whats up with everyone, what is everyone doing?" last year, and at the beginning of summer, i remember us going out and chillin alot. its like we were really close, but now things seem to be different. why? i still dont know! maybe all along it was me and i just didnt notice it? maybe... maybe not. today, it was brought to my attention that i was talking shit. someone out of the group, you should know me pretty well, do i talk shit? NO! you know that. you should know when msgs get relayed, words get twisted. i never talked shit about you, esp. since you had my back and even covered me that one time. man, you know how much that meant to me? i guess not... ask mike, i dont talk shit about you guys. all i said was "X and X dont talk to me anymore. so whatever. i dont feel like trying to go to people if i feel they dont even wanna say wassup and stuff. so fuck IT!" i never said "im tired of this SHIT" or anything like that! first off, what SHIT is there to even be tired of huh? see, exactly man. you say im shady, and maybe i am. maybe i didnt go to you guys and say wassup. or maybe i just passed right by at the library, but you didnt tell me wassup either. it goes both ways hommie. i always said wassup and stuff. we sit next to each other in some classes and stuff, and i always said wassup, now i dont. maybe because im waiting for YOU to tell me wassup? if you dont say wassup either, im not the only shady one, now am i?
song:: Warren G - "regulators"
i dont know, maybe this is just a phase. and all friends have problems, itmakes the friendships stronger and worth it in my opinion... and i dont know who your sourceS are. taking in consideration i only talk to one person... other than that, i just chill by myself or keep things to myself. do you see me at school talking to anyone? usually no... see, i dont really talk to anyone. i wish i could talk to you guys and fill you in w/ my life, but it seems like i cant ever find any of you. so i just stay alone most of the time. but its cool, i guess i get my time to think and all. you know, saying what i had to say to that person was i guess a great idea, i knew it was going to leak. but i dont know how it came to me talking shit.... since i dont! and you know it. but i guess, we need to talk this out or something? hahaha.... anyway, no matter what happens, happened, or is happening... i consider you all my brothers.
song:: TQ - "westside"
lets say we all get something it eat FRIDAY? are you down or out? hit me back some how, ok? if you need a ride tell me and ill see wassup. you'll meet someone and stuff... ok? pat you know what that means.

song:: Houston - "Love you down"
on the other hand... i just wanted to write this to my hommies. and sorry if i am shady or what not, but maybe it goes both ways... and i dont talk shit, i straight up said what i did and i told you today what went down, whatever else you heard, im putting it down... thats BS and you guys should know me, i dont do the shit talking unless its a joke and to someone's face. ON_E

-KAY_j0hN (typical myspace mirror pic, just had to rock that... lol)

THE ARRIVAL! of.. KAY_J0HN!

2004-08-19T20:41:00.000-07:00

INTRO: hey guys/girls! wow, my first entry in this whole new thing called "live journal." well anyway, the "arrival" is finally here. after the whole summer of reflecting, learning, growing, venting, and much more... I finally know much more about myself. for I am, and always will be CHRIS/KJ!!!

ME: well, here we go... My name is CHRISTOPHER, but everyone calls me either CHRIS or "KJ." KJ is my nickname that my friend (kenan) kind of gave to me somehow. its also an expression... just ask if you want to know what its about. I will be attending the 5th yr program at bosco, and I drive a metallic green '04 Toyota Camry. I like to go out and have fun. meeting new people is always fun. being a dork, and acting silly is also a good way to pass the time by. I guess I’m easy to talk to, but I don’t really know. I try to befriend everyone I meet, but if you give me no respect, don’t expect to receive any. I believe in karma and think faith has a lot to do with many things. well, my AIM is "iCAJUNi" if you want to chat or whatever.

SUMMER: oh gee. summer has been quite an experience. much as happened, and much more is still going on. but dang, summer is almost done! ::sigh:: how I hate summer so much. every year it’s just the same ole same ole. this summer has kind of been the best though for many reasons. I want to say THANK YOU to everyone who has been there for me this summer, to hear me out, to go chill, talk to me, etc etc... and THANK YOU to everyone who does not like who or me talks "shit" about me. if it weren’t for you all, I would have never reached this state or mind I am in now. I would have never grown and matured. thank you, even though you guys just tried to get me down. plans for summer? I have none. as the days go by I ask random people to go out, so we can all just have a good time... so who wants to go out?

THE ROUTINE: well, usually... my friends and I go out to play basketball at CAMERON COMMUNITY CENTER! every Tuesday and Friday. other days we hit the boys and girls club in El Monte or just play at Edgewood school. other than that, I find myself going to random places (LA, Burbank, Glendale, Puente hills, Covina, etc etc...) but its always fun. we usually just chill, get something to eat, try to talk to new people, meet girls, act silly, and most importantly... have a GREAT TIME! then I come home, go online for a while, and then talk to people and then fall asleep as the morning creeps up on me.

MY MSG: hahha.. the ARRIVAL! KJ is here (as i have stated earlier)... sounds kind of retarded huh? go ahead and think what you want to think, say what you all want to say. I am officially scratching off all "beef" with anyone who has something with me. its all retarded, cant you all see!?! my life isn’t a damn soap opera, so stop bringing the drama. to the people who might dislike or hate me at this moment, go ahead and talk or do whatever you want to me. but I have let everything go. I have held my tongue and not said a word about many things. so if anyone is telling people things that I have supposedly say, I tell you all "cheerio"... for you all are just making Asses out of yourselves. the people who I actually talk to would know that I have not said anything about anyone. I’ve just been doing my own thing. well, here is an open invitation to you all. from now on, if you guys have "shit" to talk, tell me straight up... don’t tell others because that’s useless. I like to hear criticism, good and bad. I like to hear about the stuff that I am doing wrong. tell me it all. and if you want to argue, just tell me and we shall. I do not really care, but if it really means that much to you then go ahead. we all talk "shit" but not everyone is brave enough to say it to someone's face. just say it, ok? and if anyone wants to fight... then you are just wasting your time. talking about guns, knives, etc etc... that just shows how weak you really are. if you really want to fight, especially in a battle of wits with me, come prepared. I don’t want you to seem like an ass... but then again, if I am going to fight with a loser (who is probably trying to start some drama) you guys will probably bring me down to your own level and then beat me with your experience. but seriously though, if you are looking for a fight... look elsewhere. I’ve grown up from that whole scene.. so yeah. but say what you guys have to say, straight up ok? from now on... I will be honest with you all, I shall stop talking the supposed shit that I have been saying, and just tell you guys everything straight up. because I’m not scared to hear what you guys will have to say in return. that’s all. just don’t waste my time on useless matters and issues that don’t have any foundation, just because you "hear" things... Oh yeah, and I hope that all of you who are going to be leaving me comments leave your name, so I can thank you guys. Do not be afraid to leave your name, because if you have the “balls” to say what you have to say, then be brave enough to say who you are. If not… then do not bother.

PS - dont call me under restricted numbers leaving me threats and stuff. grow up. thank you
-KJ

transformation

2004-07-30T09:37:00.000-07:00

mood:: extremeLy tired :-X
song:: CHRiSTiNA MiLLiAN - DIP IT LOW

-hmmm, my life is a blur... cant see what lies ahead.
-so many things uncertain, feelings arising, meeting new faces and remeeting old aquaintances, giong out, doing whatever i can, life is a mess.
-a mess that can not be cleaned, a problem at times, but something that seems to have me where it wants.
-good times come and go, bad times haunt me, people make me uneasy, new friends and old give me strength and joy, yet pain and sadness.

what am i to do? nothing, for once the plan of mine is to have no plan! i usualLy like to try to live things with a type of certainty... but not this time. KJ people call me, and if you ask me why... i shall explain. but yes friends, from now on referr to me as k_jay arite? thank you kindly.
all the people in my life impact me in so many ways, and i love you all. esp my niggas.... you know who you are! anyway, KJ is trying to h ave a blast, but at times i dont. we should all go out one day.
yesterday, hearing someone's voice just made everything so much better, but yet alot worse.
anyway, im out... gotta go call someone up, pick my sister at UCR, and then chill with my nigga PIMPaulo.

thnx for the convo V_thaNG, you make me laugh and stuff. and to everyone else out there. much love. for one day we shall all rejoice in our happiness. just now, the devil is trying to bring me down... peace out nigga LATE! -kj

::wonders.... what does the future have for me? every summer i seem to lose the closest people to me... eh!::

2004-07-17T01:16:00.000-07:00

i dont know why i said what i did earlier.. but whatever, right now im just trying to get over. i hear stuff and dont know, i dont really care, but i have to talk to her one last time... just to clear some shit off of my chest. right now my hommie pat is over and we just kickin it, helps to know that at least he is down... thanks

im getting better, thanks guys!

ON_E

2004-07-16T10:45:00.000-07:00

im sorry for what i said earlier.. im just really confused and my mind is playing tricks on me. YOU DID LOVE ME one time in life, and i hope that you can later on, as a friend and maybe more but who knows... i am just really BLAH right now... YOU ARE A GREAT GIRL! thats why i was head over heels for you... :-X

and when you did love me, and that was just wonderful. we were both happy and dont you just remember? now i just sit here or lounge about trying to go out and be miserable and stuff.. but i am tryint to get my mind off of it... its hard but i think i am improving. hopefully... i miss you so much, but oh well... life is like a box of abundant shit, not enough toilet paper to clean the mess!

i cry soo much, i need to stop! GEEBUS!!!!! WHY!
i shall be strong, or so i tell myself!...

ON_E -chris

::heart.ACHES.hurts.me.BADLY::

2004-07-16T10:00:00.000-07:00

date:: 11.16.04 few days after?
time:: 8:38AM
mood:: hurt, and trying!
song:: 112 - "CUPiD"

ah ah ah... the day after, the WORSE day, worse than that day itself or so i tell myself. ive been going through alot in just these past few days guys.... much more than you all can imagine. as you all may know, i am a VERY SENSiTiVE person who like sto over think things... EXCESSIVELY! (thoughts spoken on thursday)
anyway, tuesday was "D-Day" the day my life started one its highests peaks of falling down into this ditch where i seem to not be able to get out of. its like everything was going so smooth (like no joke NO JOKE!), like walking on clouds or bouncing on marshmellows, and then BAM... like getting hit in a car accident with all the works (from airbags to spills and leaks, and even DEATH)... death that hurts and deadens your life not feeling to do much. wallowing in your own self pity. myself and my girlfriend of ALMOST 2 years are now apart, and man does it suck, makes me sick to my heart itself! i dont know why, what i did, what happened, but all i know is that im really affected and that she seems to be on top of the world. my emotions show... show me constantly down, depressed, trying to joke but fooling no one, and crying. tearing up, waterfalls, the water gushing from an open dam. and yet, all i see on her are smiles and happiness, as if I AINT SHIT AND DONT MEAN SHIT to her... and its so hard, so so so hard you guys, like you dont know!
i hope it was for the best, and i just dont know what to do. so many people who i have talked to try to give me advice or say that its okay and that all i need is time. time is something that is precious. when you dont want it, it slows down just for you, and you alone, ticking a second by when it feels like an hour of endless slow moving heartache for me right now. when you want and need it, it flies by so fast like a hawk going down for its prey, waiting for nobody just zooming like a free spirit. and thats where you all are wong! its NOT okay, and TIME CAN KISS MY ASS! its not like that. its not helping me guys/girls. ive been really depressed and i dont know why! ive always seen myself as a strong person and stuff. coming through so much adversity and against all of the odds and was usually able to find myself on the top.
"For the challenge in front of me may be hard and the outcome looks bad, i think and then leap not hoping, but yet knowing... I SHALL TRIUMPH!"
that was one of my favorite quotes ever. but now, leaping blindly is something that only morons would do, and i am not a moron, just a fool who thought he was blinded by "love" or what he thought to be "love."
at times i catch myself crying over what i do not know, i look in the mirror and cant stand the sight of myself, i cant eat (literally, or i feel as if i am to throw it up gagging on the food), i cant sleep (forcing myself to sleep, yet finding out ive just closing my eyes while contemplating through so many issues runny through my head all at once), i cant go out because when i do im just misserable (plain and simple), staying at home hurts me in so many ways, and yet i am just supposed to move on. the thing with rachelLe... is that she was one of my one TRUE friends in my life (or who i thought). now its like we dont even know each other... im trying to force myself not to get in her life in any more, yet finding myself longing for her whenever i get a single free moment. it seems like to me, that i am the only one who is hurt and cares about our relationship, or what it was i guess. i can see that she is really happy now and just doesnt care for me anymore, putting me behind everyone else as i was when we were together... ALMOST 2 YEARS DOWN THE DRAIN? maybe i think, and other times i say HELL NO! right now i am really confusing myself. i have always been able to play mind games so people would see things the way i do, but now my mind is playing the worst game on myself. i seriously need some help!
i finally found a handful of friends who are really down with me until im just not around anymore, and guys/girls I LOVE YOU ALL! YOU'VE BEEN MY ONLY SOURCE OF STRENGTH THROUGH THIS WHOLE ISSUE IVE BEEN IN YOU KNOW!?! ITS LIKE I CANT DO ANYTHING AND WOULDNT BE ABLE TO WITHOUT YOU! you guys have shown me a path that i must take. i now know why people are so distraught over relationships, they do get the best of you. you guys are like more than friends, i just cant describe how much you mean to me.!
the way the relationship had ended was a complete surprise! not only to me, but to everyone who has found out. and when they see me, its so unlike me, for i used to be very joky and happy, running around carefree! and now, look at me guys, always sad, down, and crying. yesterday i was able to eat 1 chicken strip and 1/2 a scoop of the smallest icecream from coldstones and i just couldnt eat anymore.. but it was the first time i had eaten in 3 days. last night i got to sleep for almost 3 hours! and man, was it wonderful. yesterday my friends were my strength and helped me in so many ways. when i tell someone "yeah guys, i guess you heard... i dont have a girlfriend anymore, me and rachelle went our seperate ways and... thats it its just over" then i cry for it hurts just to say it! and they say "OMG ARE YOU SERIOUS! what!?! WHY!?! WHEN!?!" so many questions that i dont have answers to, yet thinking maybe it could have been avoided.then i say something about an issue that had come up during our break up and EVERYONE KNEW IT BUT ME! as much as she denies it and says thats not the reason, EVERYONE SEES IT SO CLEARLY! yet i dont know myself, i cant say anything but i think about that and many other issues all at the same time and my mind is going a billion miles an hour and i cant slow it down. i am a complete mess right now guys, sorry... i tell them and myself, "i wasnt the best boyfriend and if anyone to blame i blame myself for not pulling US out of our hard times. i couldve tried harder to be perfect, been there more, put more effort, tried to more than i did, and ...." then they all tell me to "shut up! thats not true! you were a good bf and you did do a really good job! i dont know anyone else who would be able to put up with the stuff that you did for so long loving her all the time and through it all chris!seriously!" if this is true, then why couldnt i save my own relationship guys? why did it all just go away one day like a bad dream? why did she just give up on me even when i supposedly did it all? i just dont know. everyone has an opinion and they make sense and i just dont know! I NEED YOU ALL! you guys are just so amazing.
the last day i saw rachelle we all had lunch and it seemed like a good time. then the last time i would give her a hug and a simple kiss and she was gone. now i am alone, alone is what i want to be. I WANT TO BE HURT! I WANT TO FEEL SAD! and i just HATE it but i want to go through it! my life has been really really sad, huh friend (someone who has been there for me this whole time, THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU!)? and now its just more shit in my life without the toilet paper =( . this whole time ive been keeping my cool and my friend justin is just amazed how i just dont react like most people. i dont want to turn into the person who hates the other for no apparent reason. i just have to hope for the best when hope is what i do not have anymore. there is just so much more i want to say... so this may take a while!
~+~+~+~+~
"we've been through it all... more than people know and think. thick and thin is what we went through. together we stood strong, and alone i shall fall and not grasp anything, just getting blown away. so much, so so so much, just to let it end this way over something that doesnt make sense. so many times when ive been there for you, being your strength and the person who youd turn to when times got though and yet i never gave up. all the times when i felt as though i wasnt shit to you, yet i hope that i was. maybe i was wrong, maybe this is for the best. youve told me some pretty harsh ass shit the past couple of days, and yet im still here, but now i shall be gone for it is what you want! youve torn me up and hurt me in so many ways and i have to let it all go. dont you remember all the shit that we went through together!?! what about all our happy times, like the first time i told you i love you! we were in front of the theatres that day after the movie and between all the fountains. the band was playing cheerful christmas music and everyone was just there to look at us as we slow danced that time as if we were on a cloud, happy as can be. or the time when we got together. how about our 1st valentines day, or how about all the happiness ive brought you. i guess it was all just FAKE right? NONE OF THAT SHIT MATTERS! NONE! if it did, it wouldnt end THIS WAY like i aint shit. maybe i was just a fool who believed in a falsebound prophesy.i hope you do one day realize that i was special to you. i went through so much just to make you happy, and i guess this is the only way you would happy over some shit that i would have never expected. you say people are on my side but cant you see thta none of that matters AT ALL! i just need you, but you are gone. now i look and ask you DID YOU EVER REALLY LOVE ME, EVER!?! THE WHOLE TIME. TRUE LOVE, the type of love that is priceless. because I JUST DONT KNOW ANYMORE! answer this question after you look at all the shit you have done to me recently, all the shit you said that just doesnt make sense. at times you get confused and i hope this is just one of those times. i really did love you... it was our anniversary saying that you love me and all... but 3 days later a dagger hit me and its just all gone... i would be your friend, yet you reject my friendship when you said youd try your hardest at all costs. oh welL, my sad life continues to be sad after the happiest 2 years that i have known. thank you for all the happiness and heartache... you know how to reach me. goodbye" if i am wrong, just tell me so i can believe it... sorry if i seem like a jackass i just had to express myself...
~+~+~+~+~
i am just so messed up trying to get over it! trying guys. yesterday i almost died. almost got run over. and i just dont want to think about that anymore. i just wonder, IF IT DID HAPPEN WOULD SHE CARE!?! WOULD SHE VISIT ME!?! WOULD SHE FEEL HURT THAT I WAS HURT!?! i wonder... but i guess its a good thing it didnt happen, but i kind of wish i did happen... what would happen then. that was just so close. and as my hommie put it "damn man, you just straight put your whole life in danger, didnt you see that car? what if it didnt stop..." well man, right now i just dont know, sorry for scaring you guys... i just didnt notice it and i dunno... was ust trying to get to the courts so i could maybe get my mind off of shit... FOR ONCE

"i might not have been perfect, you migh not have been perfect... WE might not have been perfect, but we were perfect for each other" and i hope you can see that one day, as clear as i do and everyone else does. for it was all going good, and i just dont know what to say or do any more...

anyway, theres more much much more that i want to say yet i dont know how, i shall just keep it to myself and just talk to me guys to know and help me get through this time, PLEASE!?! ive always been real, and i hope you guys dont do anything SHADY. ON_E

-one sad, lonely, longing for the truth, CHRiS
i refuse to be one to hate her no matter what, and the one who is always sad and bitter. maybe i shall TRIUMPH once again? maybe.... i am TRYING!

PS:
THANK YOU GUYS!
justin - hey lover! haha, all the gay times at bosco. the night it happened, you were the only one i could turn to. you told me everything i needed to hear, all the shit we related was just awesome, you got me man, and i really appreciate it. sorry for the burden of turning to you so much to say shit that you mnight be bothered about, but thanks for talking to me man, i really do need you right now!
chanel - you had my back and helped me feel much better yesterday, i love you girl i really do! im sorry if ive ever done anything to you, you truly are a really good friend! you helped me so much yesterday and i will never forget how down you are!
ernani - hommie, weve been through alot more than people think. me and you relate so closely its kinda scary. you are one of my true best friends.... i know you got my back and i really appreciate it man, i got you too no matter what!
kara - hey you! you are just truly awesome! sorry for what i told you kara, but you really are one person who gives me strength even though stuff might be hard to except or hear, you are the person who helps me realize shit! thank you! telling me so much stuff and listening to all my sad tales, thanks for just being there for me kara, thank you!
drey and bhill - guys, i know you tell me i should get over it and move on, i thank you for trying to help me, now more than ever, but i just simply cant. not right away at least. sorry for all the stuff i constantly say and how i might just not try to get over it, but you guys are close to me like brothers!
MiKE - hey man! what can i say!?! you are my brother even if you are white. seriously man, i love you! you are just incredible mike. you try to make me laugh and smile telling me its okay. but for now a smile is something i just cant do... thanks for being enthusiastic and all hommie.
shannon - you looked at me as if i dont know... it was a look ive never seen you give me. i thank you for listening to me and being the good person you are. you helped me feel so much better its unimaginable. the first time i actually felt "ok" during this whole ordeal.
binh - bin-ha! thanks man. i needed someone to really relate to me like no other, you truly are cool man. we might not have always been close, but i feel that we do have a special connection somehow, and i just needed you to do what you did, thank you man!
ryan - bro, you listen to me say my same ass sad shit 24/7. thanks man, i just hope that we can talk more and become closer friends man.
everyone i failed to mention - sorry guys, i failed again... i am sorry, but thanks for being there! it means alot to me like no joke!
DPRc - I NEED YOU IN MY LIFE NOW!!!
and.. RACHELLE ! - grey.... my color means more to mean that anything else... you know why. thank you for i guess all youve done. you helped me grow in so many ways, you were a good friend and its just a shame whats happening now and what has happened in the past couple of days... youve helped me see things and ive helped you see things, but cant you see right now? but thank you... for all the heartache but the happy times... i just dont know if they were true? i think they were but i just dont know for sure. get back to me somehow or oneday, maybe we can be friends? isnt that what you wanted? or just me out for good? oh well... you know how to get to me.

to you all mention and many more who i now know are my real friends, thank you so much for having my back! you dont know how much it means. and i dont care who's "Side" you are on... you just just are awesome! sides dont matter, just being there for me does... LOVE YOU ALL!

time:: 10:13AM
song:: Tamia - SO INTO YOU! (girl you know i am)

2004-07-14T21:58:00.000-07:00

today on July 14th (3 days after my anniversary.. the 3rd is the charm, me and my gf broke up) at 11:03-11:11 AM... it took eight minutes... well it was longer... but that was the main part... so yeah, now i am heart broken... thanks to all my hommies who have my back. I LOVE YOU ALL! ON_E!!!

i feel like shit
i cant eat
i cant sleep
i cant think straight

YET I AM TRYING!!!

::BLA BLA BLA!!!!::

2004-07-10T23:50:00.000-07:00

hey hey hey! sorry reader... havent been updating thing thingy too often. just trying to keep busy and stuff. recently my life has been going pretty good. you wonder what i do now a days? hahha, easy question NOTHING! what i usually do all day is sleep till ike 10/11, go online and do nothing. get off like at 12 and watch Drumline or Brown Sugar. lol. after that, mike calls me up around 3/4 and we talk shit and just tell jokes and stuff. after that is accomplished i do my chores around my b-pad and then wait for nightfall so i can CS it up or just play my PS2. relationships with friends and others has been going good, or so i think... with one exception.. DPRC... what ever happened guys? all of a sudden after one friday i havent heard from D or R... hmm, before pat was out and about but it seems like i hear from him more than you guys now. wassup with that? no more adventures? well, im still going out and stuff, you niggas need to hit me up or something! gosh... i do miss the times.

anyway, in the past couple of weeks these have been my objetives:
-HOOTERS: talk to the waitresses and get a hug and a kiss on the cheek (so far i got 2 hugs and only 1 kiss... HOW GAY!) i shall get one from stephanie guys, i tell yoU! SHE IS SO FINE GUYS! the HOTTEST hooters girl there is... lol!
-BBALL: i ball every TUESDAY & FRIDAY if you guys wanna join me. usually its with edgar or anthony and sometimes both. so yeah, its lots of fun, just IM me for the info.
-ONLINE: do nothing and chat to hopefully pass the time by...
-GO OUT AS MUCH AS I CAN: bla bla bla

but yeah, so far summer has been DANK! thats right, DANK! dank is my own made up word... you need to ask me for the info before you TRY to use it asshole JOCKERS! anyway, right now right now, im online blogging and chatting with a couple ppl.

PS: next friday - meet up at my house guys around 10/11. then we gonna go to hooters, movies (maybe), and then ball it up! another all day event. last fri was dope! thnx DREY, J-ROBS, ANTHONY, ALLIE, and nigga RYAN (apprentice)... HOLLA BACK GUYS! ON_E

-Mr. JizzLe KJ (chris)

hmmm

2004-07-03T23:52:00.000-07:00

at times i see myself drifting away from everyone? oh welL... i cant help what i did not create. anyway, right now my social life with friends and stuff seems to be A okay, but i wish i got to do more stuff and hang more often...! anyway, thinking about stuff and relationships is driving me wild, i dunno what to think or believe, i am not a quitter and neverhave or will GIVE UP on anyone or anything. i think its my pride that makes me this way, but hey, it helps me!
on another note, as of late i played bball with anthony, went to hootrs with DARC, went swimming with them also, saw spier-man2, and just kicked it. soon imma start going to work so i can make money to buy the "finer" things in life as welL as the things i realLy want...

i was bored, so i jacked some online survey thingy from someone's page... lol yup!

-:-:-:-:-

BASICS

1. First name: CHRiS
2. Middle name: Leon
3. Last name: FRiJAS
4. Nickname(s): chris, kj, freejizz, C
5. Screen names: iCAJUNi
6. Gender: male
7. Age: 18
8. Type of Music: mostly MAINSTREAM, r&b, and reggae
9. Birthdate: 1.31.86
10. Birthplace: trinidad&tobago (carribean)
11. Zodiac sign: aQUEERius
12. Current Location: west co
13. Live with: mom and dad
14. Name of current school: bosco I guess?
15. Grade/Year: just graduated
16. Graduation date/year: june 2004/2005
17. GPA: low enough to go to 5th year
18. Height: short, yet I try to be talL
19. Natural hair color: bLack!
20. Highlights/dyed: none
21. Hair length: short as of late… in the process of getting lLong
22. Eye color: dark brown
23. Contacts/glasses: gLasses, my siLver framed ones trying to be GQ
24. Freckles: none
25. Birthmark(s): cant find any?
26. Scar(s): one on my knee
27. Type(s) of clothes you wear: the ones in my closet?
28. Cologne/Perfume you wear: Hilfiger Athletics, Cool Water, and Polo Sport
29. Deodorant you use: right guard, AXE

FAMILY LIFE

30. Mom's name: well I call ger mom, but its jennifer
31. Dad's name: I calL him dad, but they call him Leo(nardo)
33. Closest family member: cousin… which one? I dunno
34. Family member you could live without: none
35. Last family member you've seen: dadizzLe, mom on vaca.
36. Oldest: grandma
37. Youngest: some cousin in the PIs im guessing
39. Fondest memory: going fishing with the whole family at the beach
40. Memory you miss the most: vegas wit everyone… doing everything there!
41. Family member you wish the mafia would kill: me!
42. Memory you wish you had: dunnos….
42. Memory you wish you didnt have: family fights?

OTHER

43. What you did yesterday: went to HOOTERS with hommies, swimming, saw Spider-Man 2
44. What you did so far today: cleaned, went online, went to wesco malL to say wassup wassup to a hommie, yoshinoya, chilL
45. Last person you talked to on the phone: NIGGUH_mike
46. Last person you talked to online: armen
47. Last movie you've seen: Liar Liar on DVD, Spider-Man2 in the theatre
48. Last song you heard on the radio: I think it was FREAK-a-LEEK
49. Last CD you played: Kairos CD #2
50. Last thing you said out loud: “oh baby bring it all to me!” –to mike, lol! What a big gay!!!
52. Last book you read: none! I don’t and cant read!
54. Last time you sang: on the phone with mike to get him mad
55. Last time you danced: earlier today
56. Last thing you ate/drank: a banana and cherry coke

BELIEVE IT OR NOT

57. Aliens: sure why not
58. Angels: yes
59. Demons: no
60. Heaven & Hell: sure why not
61. God: of course
62. Your friends: schizzLe

FRIENDSHIPS

64. Best friend(s): DPRC and Mike
65. Last friend you talked to: phone:mike – online:ARMEN
66. Funniest: NiggUH_Mike
67. Silliest: David and Ronald
68. Loudest: me
70. Stupidest: me
71. Sweetest: none…
72. Weirdest: everyone? lol
73. Best at keeping secrets: PeeZaT
74. Most hyper: me I guess?
75. Most annoying: all of you!
76. Friend you miss most: kenan? Nigga be gone…
77. Friend you've known the longest: mike
78. Friend you haven't known long: nugget and paulo

WORD ASSOCIATION

79. Bill Clinton: monica lewinsky
80. Lollipops: tootsieroll
81. Whipped Cream: SEX
82. Dreams: wet
83. Love: bites.
84. South Park: lil fat kids
85. Guys: fags
86. Girls: sexy
87. Death: …
88. Bubble gum: chewy
89. Water: bLand
90. Ice Cream: vanilLa
91. Oil: nasty
92. Phone: celLie
93. Food: chicken! Preferrable fried
94. Kiss: lotta tongue
95. Pretzels: hard or chewy
96. Britney Spears: fine
97. School: LONG
98. Floppy: fLacid
99. Shoes: nikes

HAVE YOU EVER

100. Been on a plane: yes
101. Cried in public: sure did, like a b*t… I mean baby
102. Climbed a tree: yeah, I got skilLs
103. Gotten in a physical fight: of course
104. Drank alcohol: no? !!! yes.. of course
105. Fell asleep in a movie theater: yea.. fuckin lord of the gay rings
106. Driven a car: yeah
107. Been arrested: helL NO!
108. Broken curfew: yes
109. Been pulled over when driving: yeah.. shit!
110. Farted in public: LMAO! Yea at mcdonalds!!!
111. Met a celebrity: I think so…
112. Skipped school: not the whole day, just specific classes!
113. Went to a pro sports game: yes
114. Met the president: not yet
115. Been scared to get shot: nope
116. Smoke a cigarette: yea
117. Gotten a cavity: helL yes
118. Done any drugs: do you think I have?
119. Shopped at Abercrombie & Fitch: FUCK NO!
120. Gone skinny-dipping: yea, wanna come next time

FAVORITES

121. Food: lasagna
122. Drink: water. iced tea (peach)
123. TV show: one tree hill, simpsons
124. Movie: cradle to the grave
125. CD: craig david – born to do it
126. Song: Frankie J – WANNA KNOW!
127. Color: bLue and GREY!
128. Day of the week: Tuesday!!!
129. Month: November, December, January
132. Favorite Car: Lancer EVO VI
133. Cookie: oatmeal
134. Toothpaste: crest VIVD WHITE
135. Ice Cream: Vanilla and Strawberry/Orange swirl, and plain VanilLa
137. Candy bar: RECESS PEANUT BUTTER CUP
138. TV channel: 11
139. Radio station: 99.1 KGGi
140. Artist/band: Tamia
141. Shampoo/conditioner: dunnos?
144. Sports to play: bbalL
145. Sports to watch: footbalL, someone always get EFFd up!
146. Place: the bbalL court…
147. Vacation spot: anywhere but here?
148. Kind of candle: the good ones?
149. Color eyes: Orange

HAVE YOU EVER

150. prank called someone: hell YES!
151. been prank called: jerm tries, but it don’t work
152. fallen asleep in class: schizzLe
153. been suspended since first grade: yea
154. been expelled: NO!
155. contemplated suicide: maybe?
156. seen someone die: in a movie…
157. cut yourself: by accident
158. slit your wrists: helL no!
159. flirty eye contacted someone in class: NO! I go to an all boy school!
160. fantasized about someone: uhhh. YES!
161. kissed someone elses partner: nope
162. had oral sex with someone elses partner: not my styLe
163. had sex with someone elses partner: NOPE!
164. trashed a hotel room: naw, that sucks
165. trashed someones home at a house party: NOPE!
166. worried about your friends: yeah yeah…
167.had your friends worry about you: I hope they do, makes me feel special… :-)

"BaLLeRiSTiC"

2004-06-29T21:37:00.000-07:00

time:: 9:36PM
mood:: TiRED as heck!
song:: SOUL FOR REAL - Candy Rain!!!

oh man... updating since sat. been a while huh? well.. since i only have like 1 reader i usually talk to that person everyday and stuff so yeah... hahha. blogging is just fun because i get to type and bla bla bla pretend im a writer and stuff.

break down of my week:
- SUN: woke up, chilled, cleaned up house, ran a few errands for my momizzLe before she bizzounced to vacation in TRINIDAD & TOBAGO (one of the carribean islands). then i watched a lil bit of TV and some movies. then i went to drop my mom at the airport around 530. we got there and left at 830 waiting for my mom to go past the check in stuff. we sat and stuff with her for about an hour or so before she had to go. then i came home and watched more movies... i forgot which ones though...
- MON: ummm, well i wanted to go out with DPRC but they couldnt make it, so i called up my cousin CHUCK and we went to get some grub at mcdonalds. after that, i dropped him at home and we talking for a bit in the car on the way there. then, i came home watched men of honor. after, i did smoe gardening work in my backyard and then mowed my lawn. i worked out for about 45 mins and then took a shower went online and did jack squat. HAPPY BIRFFDIZZAY ISSA! sorry i couldnt make and stuff so yeah.
- TUES (TODAY!!!): i woke up around 11ish. i was supposed to go ball at the park on merced but i woke up late and ryan couldnt make it. then i was just waiting for time to pass by so i could go out with PAT (P) but he CANCELLED!!! since his dad wanted him to go do some stuff, all G i guess. next i chatted away with pimPAULO and NiGGUH_MiKE and hommie RO. they helped keep me busy... next i just waited until about 430 ish while watching the tele and then called up edgar and asked him if he wanted to go ball. i called up sean and ernani before but they couldnt make. then i went online to see who i could hit up. edgar, anthony, and myself then went to CAMERON COMMUNiTY CENTER and balled for about 3hours or something. LONG ASS TIME! we played 5 games and stuff. pretty fun. we're gonna go do it again next week, so GO PEOPLE!!! damn, they have ballers in there... pretty good people, im just too rusty, i think i shall get better. anyway, then we went to grub at church's chicken because we missed little caesars and yeah. chilled and ate and talked. then edgar dropped off anthony and myself at home. thanks hommie! thanks for goin to ball and chill guys it was alot of fun! so yeah... now im online for a bit.

tomorrow i hope that i get to go out with DPRC or something... you know, to keep busy and all. but yeah. as of late i havent beel really relaxed and all like myself for some reason. DP (not R) you guys know wassup wassup. but yeah, things shall change. and hopefully this week stays good. thanks to you all! and to you too my 1 reader! holLa at your boi boy! i just feel kind of confused and blah frustrated? oh well, i have hope.. i mean, the moon is still out... (inside thing) ON_E

-chris

-:-:-:-:-

::currently feeling::
FRANKIE J - "Wanna Know"

Girl I've been wanting
For so long for you...
Girl I think im ready to get
To the bottom of the truth..
I'd Seen you peepin at me way before
Way before me and my lady
Had to call it off...oh...
I didnt want to say a word
To you no no...
Wanted to make sure that everything
Was cool and not in the low...oh...
Cuz im not the type of guy..
To cheat on my girl.. no i aint
But it was bout to hit the fan
Should of known that long ago so...

-hook:
Take My Hand
Lets get to know each other better
Lets begin
Somethin good, so something good
That we could treasure

-chrous:
I wanna know...
(I wanna know)
If you really wanna be with me
I wanna Know
If you really got it bad for me
I wanna know if you're willing to give everthing oh..
I wanna know if your down for everything

Cuz im that type of man
That's down for his girl
Drama free... Thats Guaranteed
And i give you my word...
I'll give you all i have
Everything you want and more
Every little Bit
That i can take from my soul yeah
Im just a simple man
That wants to be heard yeah...
Take it from my broken heart..
And a lesson that's Learned
So i Just need to know
How serious you are...yeah...
Tell me if you really want this to
Go Far

Take My Hand
Lets get to know each other better
Lets begin
Somethin good, so something good
That we could treasure

I wanna know...
(I wanna know)
If you really wanna be with me
I wanna know
If you really got it bad for me
I wanna know if you're willing to give everthing oh..
I wanna know if your down for everything

I really wanna know babe
If you're Down with me
I'm willing to give you everything
And all you need.. with you by my side
We can conquer the world...you know
If you need me...just let me know

-chorus fading:
I wanna know.. I wanna know(I just wanna know)
If you really wanna be with me(I wanna know)
I wanna Know
If you really got it bad for me(Oh..whoah)
I wanna know if you're willing to give everthing oh..(tell me baby cuz i need to know)
I wanna know if your down for everything (gotta be down with me)

If you really wanna be with me(If youre really down I wanna know)
If you really got it bad for me(oh oh oh oh yea
I wanna know if you're willing to give everthing oh..
I wanna know if your down for everythingoh... baby.. whoa... baby)

I really wanna know
i wanna know
i wanna know... yeah... whoah

never say goodbye

2004-06-26T16:17:00.000-07:00

damn.. sometimes people just confuse me telling me mixed shit... one day they say one thing, then the next day another thing, the day after that shit changes again... WTF! cant some people just make up their mind or just ARGH! whatever aye...
anyway, i was scanning through my MP3s and found this song from one the "SISTER SISTER" episodes that roger (M.H.) performed at their graduation... really really good. damn i miss that show.. oh well?

::intro::T: and here to perform his original composition, "NEVER SAY GOODBYE" Mr. ROGER EVANS!
crowd: (chants and screams)

-:-:-:-:-

Roger Evans (Marques Houston) - "NEVER SAY GOODBYE"

goodbye... farewell...

well it seems like only yesterday
when we first started making our way
i knew it was a start of something
the making of some MAGIC moments
i knew i had a friend that would be down until the end
stickin round through the thick and the thin
now it is a time for parting and making our lives
as bright as the stars in the sky

we'll be moving on...
(on and on)
but we'll NEVER SAY GOODBYE
(never say goodbye)
just maybe farewell my friends
(fare fare farewell...)
but we'll never ever say goodbye

i wanna make a vow to you
cause im feeling full inside
this will NOT BE THE END my friends
this is only FAREWELL NOT GOODBYE

we'll be moving on (and on)...
but we'll NEVER SAY GOODBYE
(goodbye yeah)
maybe farewell my friends
but we'll never ever say goodbye
(never ever say goodbye)

never (never)...
say never (never)...
say never, say never
NEVER SHALL WE SAY GOODBYE!

-:-:-:-:-

see this is a song i really like guys. too bad bosco doesnt have a graduation song and shit. just that lame band that doesnt realLy sound too well, but hey, at least they try... right? well ANYWAY, you only say GOODBYE to your AQUAINTANCES and people you dont really like or who are just there when things are good or if they can benefit from you, you know? but you say FAREWELL to your REAL FRIENDS and LOVED ONES... so yeah, be careful of your words... not just these in particular, just what you say in general... ON_E
- i dedicate this to all friends who have just graduated and to those who i might not see anymore or that often... i <3 you all NIGGIES! lol...

-chris =X

table chart!

2004-06-26T01:51:00.000-07:00

time:: 1:51AM
mood:: energetic... damn, im nocturnal!!!
song:: ONE VO1CE - "always on my mind"

How to make a Christopher Frijas

Ingredients:

5 parts success

5 parts brilliance

3 parts energy

Method:
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Add caring to taste! Do not overindulge!

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

::...the end of CHRiS? - near DEATH experience!!!...::

2004-06-25T23:04:00.000-07:00

mood:: BLAH! time to relLax?
time:: 11:20PM
song:: Dru Hill - ANGEL (damn... i miss dru hill, they were the "schiznit" man! too bad their newest album flopped...? BIGGIE UPPS TO YOU GUYS!!!)

well, today i ALMOST CRASHED SICK AT like 75-85MPH.... damn, that couldve been the end of Mr. JizzLe... but it wasnt. THANK YOU GOD! Biggie UPPs to you G.O.D. seriously.

well, my mom came home and i was rushing back since she really had to go somewhere with me. anyway, im going down FRANCiSQUiTO and at SUNSET the light just turns red as i pass the traffic light and right when i reach the other side... SOME FUCKiN CAR OUT OF NOWHERE makes right turn into the my lane... not the inner lane, the outter one. and im all like "OH FUCK!" and i swerved into the other side (the side of ONCOMING TRAFFiC)! but LUCKiLY!!! there were no cars at that time, so i swerve like a lane and a half over and then cut back breaking kinda hard and all i hear is "UURRRRRRRR-EEEEE" (my tires kinda screeching (s/p)...) damn... and the cvar just passes me by like nothing happened... that proves how much this world realLy doesnt care.... anyway, i just drove on home with my heart beating so hard that it felt like it was about to jump out of my chest. it was indeed, one of my scariest driving experiences. i was imagining the whole time while my mom was taking us to the toyota place to go pick some stuff up what "could've happened" and damn... maybe i wouldve died or been seriously injured? maybe hurt other ppl as welL? damn, i say i had the right of way since the light wasnt even red, but i guess that asshole didnt care. FUCK MAN! oh welL, THANK GOD nothing happened...
-anyway, thanks for today D and R... sorry Peezat, we need to kick it, DURING THE DAY HOMMiE!!! but yeah, today DRC went swimming, got lunch, and chilled at D and C's pizzads... pretty fun. good times nigs. damn, just kinda like WOW about what happened earlier... :-X so yeah, sorry for no details today...

on another note, ppl... you should consider showing compassion to others. fuck, i mean... i act ike a dick at times but when it all comes down to it, i help those in need. friend or foe, ill still help and stuff you know... esp when i see homeless ppl, thats a hard life and i always donate money and stuff. i wish i could do more than i do, but hey, its a start. damn... ARGH! whatever, i guess i could be just talking out of my ass guys... ON_E

TODAY WAS JUST ... INTERESTING and SCARY!?!
-Mr JizzLe (CHRiS)

FORGOT!

2004-06-24T22:09:00.000-07:00

what up? oh yeah... i forgot. yesterday i forgot what i did... BLAH!

::..JizzLe & RYE-n..::

2004-06-24T21:55:00.000-07:00

time:: 9:14PM
mood:: tired a bit :-X
song:: Musiq - JUST CHiLL

today today today was ummm, chilLed yet fun!
welL, i woke up this morning around 7ish because i had to drop my mom at work since my dad was gonna use her car. so yeah, dropped her off at work in puente hilLs came back home and knocked out until like 930ish. i was drifting in and outta sleep while watching YOU GOT SERVED! for like the bilLionth time! anyway, then i go and play BAD BOYS II for PC and nigga RYAN calLs me up and says he'd be here around 11. its like 1030/45ish and im like, might as welL shower right now right now. then nigga PAT (he's under my friends list) calLs me when im in there.

-long story short. he tells me hes at bosco and im like lets go chill for a bit. so we make plans for going to ono grill and i come there late and stuff, my bad niggie.
anyway, ryan comes over when i just get outta the shower, so i open up my dorr and shit then i dry up and change and stuff and we're on our way. i go and i pick up RACHELLE and then we bizzounce to ONO GRILL! so yeah, we get there and talk for a good 10-15 mins and i meet two new ppl adrian and jeff. they seemed pretty cool but didnt talk too much. anyway, pat bought me lunch so yeah. then i went to bosco and meet up with ernani and then i see lucky being buff. i get my graduation video and drop rachelLe home.
me and ryan go to get my car tint back. so we go and then walk back to my house, then we chill a bit and i get the keys to the 4runner and we get gas and go to buy locks at the 99cent store down my street. then we go back to my place and walk back to the tint place. when we get there we look at pictures in some album and the cars suckd ass like the systems in them. all show but no go... lol BOO! so yeah, we get my G-RIDE back and head off to wesco mall. ryan goes to eat at del tace and we see some pretty cute girlie. then we start talking about BUTTS and the lady infront of us think we're talking about her ass and turn around and smiles and us with a happy look on her face. me and ryan bust the EFF up and chk that girlie out. then some fags start looking at us and we just chill. we head of to sportsmart or whatever that thing is and work out a bit... lol! YEAH! free equipment and sh**. then we go to ryan's work and head back to my hizzouse again. my aunt and uncle head back for the CARRIBEAN (TRiNiDAD & TOBAGO) booo. they're pretty cool and stuff. my uncle showed me a magic trick because he used to do them alot and showed me how he knows how to play the guitar. so yea, i wished them goodbye and stuff and then me and nigga ryan play a lil bit of bball. that was fun. ryan won and then i did in a 2 games of horse.
we head of to tapioca express and order boba tht we never tried before. tapioca express green tea or someshit like that and strawberry snow bubble. pretty good. i drop nigga ryan home and pick my mom up from work. then i come home and play bbalL until like 8ish. so about an hour or somethin. then i cleaned up my room and took a shower. now im here... BLAH! today was FUN! thanks to everyone who contributed! ON_E

-Mr. JizzLe (CHRiS)

the fuck is this?

2004-06-22T00:03:00.000-07:00

the hardest part is knowing that you were always just a joke... KJ? HAHAH!...... i guess im not funny, the joke is... wait, I AM THE JOKE! FUCK IT!!! argh.. special thnx to kimmee, mike, and nigga DZUIK!!! thanx hommies....

-chris "the joke" KJ

::...JizzLe DAYS...::

2004-06-20T23:25:00.000-07:00

time (start): 11:25 PM
mood: finalLy!!! :-X
song: 112 ft Ludacris and Chingy - HOT & WET (remix)

yessum guys and gals! Mr JizzLe's blogthingy is back up and running? sorry about the xanga(s).. i just couldnt get them running the way i had wanted them to go.. so yeah, my bad guys. anyway, i havent done this kind of online madness in a while and im so HTML illiterate, so yeah! i know it kinda sucks or whatever but hey.. I DONT CARE! lol... a page is apgae, BLAH! can you guys and girlies telL that my favorite color is BLUE? here we go:

ok ok, usualLy i start with an over view of my past couple of days since i dont blog or whatnot "every damn day" (- T.Q.)... here's a quick breakdown of my weekend... as you guys can telL, im pretty much a jackass/jerk/dork/etc etc... lolL!

Fri::
hmmm, this day was interesting! the night before me and david were trying to stay up the whole night and then gone chilL on fri... anyway, i stayed up until 6 something and finalLy felL aslLeep... i saw the sun rise (kinda) from my window while i was laying down. Nigga David said he was gone calL me back or something sometime past 5 because he told be "brb" online.. then an hour later i kinda knew he was asleep. so anyway... i saw boring ass infomercials that made me snooze. i wok eup around 815 and David ("D") calls me at 834 asking if i was awake. i was drifting in and out but yeah.. bla bla bla! so "d" comes over around 11/1130. while im waiting i go online and talk to RonalLd ("R") and telLs me to ask david to pick him up, but he told me too late while david was already in front of my house, lol! so yeah, david is over and we were lLike -EFF it - and i went to pick up ronald with david. so we go back down to whittier after being here in wesco to come back to wesco... lol. we had a pretty fun time at ronald's even though it was just like 10 mins.. but yeah! so we get back here and i calL up JENICE but shes at some meeting. Nigga CHRIS ("c") thats me... was calling for a while. then anyway, i say meet us up at wesco mall. so i go home and was bout to shower and jenice calls back and was like "where are you guys?" and im all like "whoops, imma take a shower, you wanna come over in the mean time?" so she finds her way over and we all kick it in my guestroom and play video games and talk and stuff... so yeah, we head over to wesco mall and eat ice cream. i split off with my uncle and aunt who came from the CARRiBEAN and showed them around. pretty FUN! then ronald and david come back when jenice had to leave. this is WHERE THE FUN BEGINS!.
-DRC (we) walk around talking and stuff
-we then go to champ sports and work out for free and then get busted and the prick working there gets on our ass for dropping the weights when i made ronald laugh, lol. the mall wasnt made to work out anyway.. lol
-we get something to eat and some fine girlie is where we were ordering our food. ronald wanted to talk to her but some guy with no game and who was about 4feet or something tried to holLa at this shorty and ended up scaring her away.
-we grubbed on our chicken roaster's! (GRUB!!!) and found some hair in there!!! NASTY SHIT! we didnt return it.. we were like EFF it and just kept on grubbing, lol!
-we walked around some more and talked about girlies and whats up w/ us and what not, the usual
-we go to robinson's may so i can get my dad a gift for sunday.. and we end up messing around, i was trying to FLOW and david was DROPPING THE BEAT? LMAO! and ronald was like "OMG.. SHUT UP!" good times man
-we go outside and david gets some wack msg from his dad saying how bla bla bla i forget?
-we sit on the bench and start to sing. and we suck.. cant sing wayne wonder stuff, LOL!
-go back home, R-D leave, go online, chilL, knock the EFF out!

Sat::
wake up bla bl abla... take uncle and aunt out to go shop and pick my mom up from work at 430 go home bla bla bla... everyone leaves for vegASS and im home alone w/ my sister. i calL up david and tell him lets go chill with ronald and we do. while im waiting for david to finish with his ordeal, i try to play bball and stuff... mr big balLer or i try to be? lol. umm, then i took a shower and was on my way.
-chilled at david's room for a while with ronald and stuff
-picked up david and ronald at david's house
-didnt know where to go, so we head to "golf 'n stuff" and was like "umm, nevermind we're gone leave (SUCKA! - david screams it as we drive off, what a BIG GAY!)" and we leave... and head off to cerritos mall... DAMNIT DAVID! THIS PART WAS GAY!!! so we get there and go inside through nordstroms and the mall was closed!!! well, all the shops were except the department ones and the movie theatre. we walk around the closed ass malL with some white cop staring at me.. what a fag, lol. we pretend like we smoked and shit but he didnt react to it so we just acted normal again. lol. we then go to see what time dodgeball starts but it started at 930 and it was 830.. WTF were we gone do at a closed ass mall for 1hr HUH DAVID!?! so then we leave AGAIN! and look for somewhere else to go...
-hungry? yes... we were! we then go to jack in the box and have a fun as helL time! so i missed the drive through and we drive around that stonewhatever place. so i bump -MASTER P - ooooo WEE!- and we all start bouncing in the car like we're retarded or wanna be rappers as we pass olive garden with all these white ppl looking at us like "WTF!?!" since the windows were down.. good times! then ummm, do that about 3 times passing the same exact place.. lol. then i find my way to the drive through and this is just great! the lady asks for my order and i tell her "umm can i have a minute or somethin?" and she was like ok bla bla bla. then i ask D and R what they want and then start to order! whoot... "can i have ummm, a number 6 and 1 numbizzLe 7 aight? oh yeah, make it 1 sprite and 'nigga what you want ronald' oh and 1 dr pepper aight? coo coo, both mediums." bla bla bla shes saying some wack shit and i talk "umm, on toppa dat i wud wan ummm, hold up lemme see what you got here (david - hurry the fuck uip man) 'nigga chilL im trying to order all up in this mnix mang, chill!' oh yea, durr we go. i want a jumbo jizzack and a chicken sandwich, is that cool? aight..." so then i didnt see the total and we thought it was 11 something. we pull to the window and give her 11 something and she was like "its 13something and this is only 11 bla bla bla" and im like "nigga, wasnt it 11 something (david - yeah thats what i saw) man fuck it, lets spit more cash" so we give her 14 and some change and got 75cents back, a qtr a piece! yea! by this point the lady was already annoyed and started to shake her head at us and give dirty looks. david says "the fuck you shaking your head for?" and im all lik e"shit nigga, shut the fuck up" and ronald is having the time of his life laughing and shit, lol! so we get our drinks and they both sprite.. i notice this and was like "hey nigga wasnt 1 a dr pepper? (david - yea, make her take that shit back)" fuck, david is kinda loud and has balls when hes not in the front or straiht up, if he was hed bitch out... lol! so then im all like "aye yo, these both sprites and i wanted 1 dr pepper aye" them she gives me a dirty look and shakes her head again and i look to my hommies and was like "the fuck?" all loud. lol. then we get our drinks and food. we were able to leave and then david wa slike get some bbq sauce. so i winde my window back down and was like "aye, ELLO? yea can iget some bbq sauce? david you want bbq sauce right? yeah cool" and she wa slike "omg!" lol.. that was fun. so we take off and make a round.
-where to eat? we didnt feel like eating in the car anymore so we drive around and at a traffic light we start bouncing and pretending we rap and shit out the windows to the fellow cars waiting for the traffic light to change to green. ppl were all like "wtf" when they were looking at us. lol, bouncing around like ali g when he bumps music and shit like morons is fun as hell. so we decide to eat at jack in the box. we pull up and i turn down my radio and take off my neons just in case someone wanted to jack my shit, lol? so we go inside with OUR OWN FOOD that we bough in the drive through. everyone was looking at us like "the fuck?" lol... so yeah, we sit down eat and talk. xtina calls david and i act like an ass in the background, so much fun! david was getting annoyed a lil? or was it the person on the phone? anyway.. we eat and stuff then go back to the golf place we left in the beginning becaus ethe parking was $5. lol!
-golf 'n stuff! mso we pull up to the booth for parking and shit and heres the convo
me: "so yeah, what time doe sthis place close?"
worker girlie: "we close the parking lot at 10 but everything is open until like 12/1"
me: "fo sho"
worker girlie: "hehehe (girlies laugh)
me: "what happened? do i got some shit on my face or somethin?"
worker girlie: "tha was cute, fo sho! dont forget to take this with you dont leave it in your car"
me: "fo sho"
ronald: "you like his glasses"
worker girlie: "oh yeah, you got it goin on with those shades"
david: "yeah you know, esp since there is so much sun out here at night"
worker girlie: "thats cute the glasses and fo sho"
ronald: saying some shit i didnt hear because i was talking too
me: "ooh yeah, i got it goin on and when i drop my pants you know its on...."
girlie: responding to ronald or something "fo sho"
me: "thats how i pick up on girlies, im cute like that. the shades and the way i talk"
girlie: "fo sho.. hehehe"
driving off... david: "apparently it works on FAT chicks too"
ok ok... she wasnt like HUMONGOID or anything... just a lil big you know? hey hey hey.. more cushion for the pushin! lmao.. JP JP!!! not enough liquor in the world.. lmao.. JP JP!!!! im not a jerk like that.
-playing golf. so we go to play golf but dunno who goes first. so us being the geniuses we are decide to play rock, paper, scissors to see who wins. me and david play first! i win then he wins and then FUCK! we get the sam eones for like 10 EFFn turns straight.. it was so gay but funny as fuck. "1, 2, 3.. FUCK!" lol... then i ended up winning and then lost to ronald, so ronnie goes first, then me, then d. so we play and decide if anyone is taking too much time to skip that hole and come back to it. so we play and bla bla bla... i ate shit a bunch of times. i swear! that place expects you to falL or something like i did. AN ASS LOAD OF TIMES!!! lol. anyway, so we kept playing and then david comments on some obese ppl that were taking too long. DAVID - "fat ppl take too long! fuck" or something like that. and we start laughing for a bit. then we skip them and keep on moving. some lil black kid eats shit on one of the bridges and we laugh for a while... funny stuff. then we go back to one of the holes we skip and we played. david kept fuckin up so he started over on that hole (our rules are if you fuck up too much, you can start over or if iyou hit it and it comes back to you you can start over) so yeah. when david starts over ppl behind us (wanna be hardasses) start saying "retard rule retard rule" and david turns around and goes "hahaha. STFU!" lol... and they got served! they STFU lol... good times. we go back to hole 17 another one we skipped and some retarded black kid who was like 13/14 was there. i have my golf club on my back and was hanging my arms and kept on moving the club. it accidently hits the black kid and heres the convo
kid: "HI! hi hi hi hih ihi excuse me hi hi?"
me: "what up bra?"
kid: "whats that? (starts tapping my new fuckin shades aye!!!) whats that? (keeps trying to tap it"
me: its my glasses bra, chilL man shit...
kid: "can can can i try them on (tries to take them off my face)"
me: "(SLAPs his arm) the hell wrong with you man? naw bro, these are my g-shades fuckin chilL..."
and we start walking towards david who was somewhere else
ronald: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (laughing hard as fuck) dude that kid was retarded!"
me: "OH SHIT MAN! my bad dogg my bad! ghagaa"
kinda sucks i know! but i honestly thought he was just trying to annoy me guys... BLAH!
oh yeah,.... when we first got out golf balLs, david bounces his on the floor it hits some rock and almost goes in the fuckin water before we started playing.. it was bouncing all over the place but unluckily he got it before it fell in.. DAMN! lol. and it took us years trying to find COURSE #3 but it was all worth it. anyway... on the last hole, we fucked around some more. it was a ramp shit and i almost hit david in the balls! he was standing on the ramp looking for his ball because they dont go in the hole, they all get suck and i hit my ball hard and it flew right between his legs, hit the wood, and bounced over his head. i did it because when i was looking for ball, he was telling ronald to push my ass so id eat shit.. lol. brotherhood my ass! lol
oh yeah! on the way home i raced a lancer OZ from one traffic light to the other and he got SERVED!!! WHOO=HOO!
anyway, we wanted to get a camera and take pix to remember this night but we didnt.. oh well, wouldve been funny as fuck too! but yeah.. i prolly missed alotta shit about this night but there was just so much stuff... lol GREAT TIME NIGGS! THANKS!!!

Sun::
ok ok.. im kinda lazy now... anyway... my sister woke me up around 10ish and i was so fuckin tired from all the shit from sat. then i mowed my lawn and got ready to leave. fuckin grass took forever to cut. next time im not waiting more than a week.... lol. so then we left and i took my sis to eat at subway. carne asada sub thingy was GREAT! try it niggs! then i go to UCR and drop my sis off. go on her comp and chk some stuff online real quick. then get our fathers day present ready and i head off to my cousin's AARON's house for a meeting on his business. the meeting was pretty cool as well as the people there. damn, i felt all under dressed. i was wearing a polo shirt an under shirt darkblue jeans and my AF1's... lol. everyone else was spiffed out. oh well. but yeah, my cousin and homeboy marcel who i havent seen in ages said i looked good and i was like "YEAH!" lol.. so yeah. anyway i left around 515 and headed home. on the way home some ford focus zx3 or whatever wanted to race. the girlie kept reving at me and when i looked at her she was like "wanna race?" and i was like whatever. then i raped her slow ass car and cut her off when i won!! lol... good times. i came home, got the present ready and played a lil bball. then i went on to work on this page. i tried for 2 hrs on my xanga but it sucked ass, so i worked on this and now im here.. BLAH! well, i prolly missed a bunch of shit from all of my days, but hey... everyting was fun! thank you all who contributed to my weekend!

right now.. im confused on a bunch of stuff but imma ride it all out and just see what happens. damn, i need more friends though. anyone wanna be my friend? lmao... yeah i know its lame. anyway... right now right now i just wanna have a great summer and meet new ppl! so yeah, holLa at your boy boy! ON_E

time (finish): 12:41AM
mood: GAKGSKhgks! done!
song: Brian McKnight - ANYTIME!
-CHRiS!

confusion!!!

2004-06-20T23:19:00.000-07:00

confused? yes... i AM!