simplLy.CHRiS!
{Monday, October 04, 2004 . to my boys... lol }

B2K - "Outro (boys to the end)"

"We been through thick and thin
But we still here
No matter what goes down
We are still friends til the end
Ups and downs
Yeah dats a hard-knock life
Yeah its ride or die
Cause we are boys for life
ya heard"

thats all... lol. ON_E
-kj


CHRiS blogged on 8:51 PM


time:: 7:17 PM
song:: WARREN G - "i want it all"
mood:: blah

hahaha... holy shit has it been a while! huh guys? well anyway, that's besides the point. i usually sit here on my computer looking through pages on myspace and xangas and having conversations with multiple people and i think, "damn, it was fun writing in my blog." yeah, i always say that im going to write here but... do i? i guess not, sorry reader, lol. i know that you've been waiting, my bad. i went through alot of hair styles also, but i think imma grow it and then dragon ball it out. that should be done by december? lol... i hope!
chk my previous hair styles people, im PIMP! from bald - fade - growing - spiked all around


song:: AKON - "locked up"
anyway, summer is over... damn! but what a rush. school is here and i find myself in my usual ditch i dig too early in the school year. all i do is chill, slowly falling behind in my classes... but, i have decided to change all that this year. i started to pick up the slack lately. even though i've been sick and stuff, i still try, and now since im almost 100% better, im putting more effort in school. good boy now huh? oh well...
during this summer... alot happened:
a) relationship ended
b) met new people and got in touch with old friends
c) started dating =)
d) went out alot
e) got closer w/ some people
f) found out who my true friends are
g) got into shit
h) finished some business
i) lived life how it should be lived, to the max
i chilled alot with "DPRC" and then stuff happened. mostly because of myself. i guess, i like to be the center of attention and stuff like that, but ill talk about that later on. i also chilled with my hommies albert (who i havent seen or talked to since confirmation), armen (hommie i met last summer), and mike (havent spoken to since like what, 8th grade? lol). on top of that, i chilled alot with my bosco friends and met some walnut people. everyone made this a great summer, thanks guys/gals! i played bball alot, hit up random places from LA - hollywood - pasadena - glendale - burbank - wesco - covina - san gab - m park - whittier - downey - pico - rosemead - chino - montclaire - and so on... geez, that was fun! whenever i went out, it was all in good nature and tried to have a good time. thank you guys/gals!
song:: Big Tymers - "this is how we do it"
the dating scene was really wierd, lol. but it was cool, i met alot of people, but sad to say... im a jerk? lol. i guess i went through too many girls too fast. everytime i went out, i practically tried to talk to a new girl and take it from there, but it was fun. hey hey hey, well, i remained friends with all of you and that was cool. having more and more friends is dope. anyway, my current status shall remain unknown for now, hahhaha.... some people know whats up, and if you want to know, feel free to ask ;-)
song:: Jojo - "leave, get out"
thats right! i bump kiis FM, lmao! anyway, i think i have some issues. well, the ones other than the school stuff. im so lazy, i hate school, i like to go out instead! but shizzLe, i havent ditched any classes! at most, i just go late by a little while. i just need to put more and more effort in guys, and i need some encouragement.
song:: Juvenile - "she get it from her mama"
song:: Lil Rob - "neighborhood music"
song:: Nate Dogg - "i got love (remix)"
song:: 213 - "so fly"
but to main point of this post.... i found out, i am SHADY! yeah, and im self concious and im not afraid to admit it... i have been most shady to my hommies, the ones who were there for me, and for what? i ask that question to myself so many times today... you guys have NO IDEA. but thanks for the confrontation. i like being confronted.... helps me express myself and get feedback. i think, maybe i am a dramaking? these are my BROTHERS, for i am not alone... at bosco, i made more than friends, i made brothers. these guys mean a lot to me, there were there for me when i needed them and i dont even know whats up now.

song:: Warren G - "this DJ"
song:: Warren G - "i want it all"
song:: Warren G - "summertime in the LBC"
see, these guys, damn... ive known all of them since freshman yr and stuff... wow, kinda long time ago. now, we're in the 5th yr program together... yet it seems kind of distant, do you guys agree? well, if you dont, i still feel kind of distant for some reason. i dunno why... i know we all went through different things during summer and all that... some good, some bad. but now, nothing is the same. at the beginning of summer i was like, "damn, i cant wait to hit up here and there with the hommies. shit is gone be fun!" and now its like, "hmmm, i wonder whats up with everyone, what is everyone doing?" last year, and at the beginning of summer, i remember us going out and chillin alot. its like we were really close, but now things seem to be different. why? i still dont know! maybe all along it was me and i just didnt notice it? maybe... maybe not. today, it was brought to my attention that i was talking shit. someone out of the group, you should know me pretty well, do i talk shit? NO! you know that. you should know when msgs get relayed, words get twisted. i never talked shit about you, esp. since you had my back and even covered me that one time. man, you know how much that meant to me? i guess not... ask mike, i dont talk shit about you guys. all i said was "X and X dont talk to me anymore. so whatever. i dont feel like trying to go to people if i feel they dont even wanna say wassup and stuff. so fuck IT!" i never said "im tired of this SHIT" or anything like that! first off, what SHIT is there to even be tired of huh? see, exactly man. you say im shady, and maybe i am. maybe i didnt go to you guys and say wassup. or maybe i just passed right by at the library, but you didnt tell me wassup either. it goes both ways hommie. i always said wassup and stuff. we sit next to each other in some classes and stuff, and i always said wassup, now i dont. maybe because im waiting for YOU to tell me wassup? if you dont say wassup either, im not the only shady one, now am i?
song:: Warren G - "regulators"
i dont know, maybe this is just a phase. and all friends have problems, itmakes the friendships stronger and worth it in my opinion... and i dont know who your sourceS are. taking in consideration i only talk to one person... other than that, i just chill by myself or keep things to myself. do you see me at school talking to anyone? usually no... see, i dont really talk to anyone. i wish i could talk to you guys and fill you in w/ my life, but it seems like i cant ever find any of you. so i just stay alone most of the time. but its cool, i guess i get my time to think and all. you know, saying what i had to say to that person was i guess a great idea, i knew it was going to leak. but i dont know how it came to me talking shit.... since i dont! and you know it. but i guess, we need to talk this out or something? hahaha.... anyway, no matter what happens, happened, or is happening... i consider you all my brothers.
song:: TQ - "westside"
lets say we all get something it eat FRIDAY? are you down or out? hit me back some how, ok? if you need a ride tell me and ill see wassup. you'll meet someone and stuff... ok? pat you know what that means.

song:: Houston - "Love you down"
on the other hand... i just wanted to write this to my hommies. and sorry if i am shady or what not, but maybe it goes both ways... and i dont talk shit, i straight up said what i did and i told you today what went down, whatever else you heard, im putting it down... thats BS and you guys should know me, i dont do the shit talking unless its a joke and to someone's face. ON_E

-KAY_j0hN (typical myspace mirror pic, just had to rock that... lol)


CHRiS blogged on 7:14 PM

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{Thursday, August 19, 2004 . THE ARRIVAL! of.. KAY_J0HN!}

INTRO: hey guys/girls! wow, my first entry in this whole new thing called "live journal." well anyway, the "arrival" is finally here. after the whole summer of reflecting, learning, growing, venting, and much more... I finally know much more about myself. for I am, and always will be CHRIS/KJ!!!

ME: well, here we go... My name is CHRISTOPHER, but everyone calls me either CHRIS or "KJ." KJ is my nickname that my friend (kenan) kind of gave to me somehow. its also an expression... just ask if you want to know what its about. I will be attending the 5th yr program at bosco, and I drive a metallic green '04 Toyota Camry. I like to go out and have fun. meeting new people is always fun. being a dork, and acting silly is also a good way to pass the time by. I guess I’m easy to talk to, but I don’t really know. I try to befriend everyone I meet, but if you give me no respect, don’t expect to receive any. I believe in karma and think faith has a lot to do with many things. well, my AIM is "iCAJUNi" if you want to chat or whatever.

SUMMER: oh gee. summer has been quite an experience. much as happened, and much more is still going on. but dang, summer is almost done! ::sigh:: how I hate summer so much. every year it’s just the same ole same ole. this summer has kind of been the best though for many reasons. I want to say THANK YOU to everyone who has been there for me this summer, to hear me out, to go chill, talk to me, etc etc... and THANK YOU to everyone who does not like who or me talks "shit" about me. if it weren’t for you all, I would have never reached this state or mind I am in now. I would have never grown and matured. thank you, even though you guys just tried to get me down. plans for summer? I have none. as the days go by I ask random people to go out, so we can all just have a good time... so who wants to go out?

THE ROUTINE: well, usually... my friends and I go out to play basketball at CAMERON COMMUNITY CENTER! every Tuesday and Friday. other days we hit the boys and girls club in El Monte or just play at Edgewood school. other than that, I find myself going to random places (LA, Burbank, Glendale, Puente hills, Covina, etc etc...) but its always fun. we usually just chill, get something to eat, try to talk to new people, meet girls, act silly, and most importantly... have a GREAT TIME! then I come home, go online for a while, and then talk to people and then fall asleep as the morning creeps up on me.

MY MSG: hahha.. the ARRIVAL! KJ is here (as i have stated earlier)... sounds kind of retarded huh? go ahead and think what you want to think, say what you all want to say. I am officially scratching off all "beef" with anyone who has something with me. its all retarded, cant you all see!?! my life isn’t a damn soap opera, so stop bringing the drama. to the people who might dislike or hate me at this moment, go ahead and talk or do whatever you want to me. but I have let everything go. I have held my tongue and not said a word about many things. so if anyone is telling people things that I have supposedly say, I tell you all "cheerio"... for you all are just making Asses out of yourselves. the people who I actually talk to would know that I have not said anything about anyone. I’ve just been doing my own thing. well, here is an open invitation to you all. from now on, if you guys have "shit" to talk, tell me straight up... don’t tell others because that’s useless. I like to hear criticism, good and bad. I like to hear about the stuff that I am doing wrong. tell me it all. and if you want to argue, just tell me and we shall. I do not really care, but if it really means that much to you then go ahead. we all talk "shit" but not everyone is brave enough to say it to someone's face. just say it, ok? and if anyone wants to fight... then you are just wasting your time. talking about guns, knives, etc etc... that just shows how weak you really are. if you really want to fight, especially in a battle of wits with me, come prepared. I don’t want you to seem like an ass... but then again, if I am going to fight with a loser (who is probably trying to start some drama) you guys will probably bring me down to your own level and then beat me with your experience. but seriously though, if you are looking for a fight... look elsewhere. I’ve grown up from that whole scene.. so yeah. but say what you guys have to say, straight up ok? from now on... I will be honest with you all, I shall stop talking the supposed shit that I have been saying, and just tell you guys everything straight up. because I’m not scared to hear what you guys will have to say in return. that’s all. just don’t waste my time on useless matters and issues that don’t have any foundation, just because you "hear" things... Oh yeah, and I hope that all of you who are going to be leaving me comments leave your name, so I can thank you guys. Do not be afraid to leave your name, because if you have the “balls” to say what you have to say, then be brave enough to say who you are. If not… then do not bother.

PS - dont call me under restricted numbers leaving me threats and stuff. grow up. thank you
-KJ


CHRiS blogged on 8:41 PM

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{Friday, July 30, 2004 . transformation}

mood:: extremeLy tired :-X
song:: CHRiSTiNA MiLLiAN - DIP IT LOW

-hmmm, my life is a blur... cant see what lies ahead.
-so many things uncertain, feelings arising, meeting new faces and remeeting old aquaintances, giong out, doing whatever i can, life is a mess.
-a mess that can not be cleaned, a problem at times, but something that seems to have me where it wants.
-good times come and go, bad times haunt me, people make me uneasy, new friends and old give me strength and joy, yet pain and sadness.

what am i to do? nothing, for once the plan of mine is to have no plan! i usualLy like to try to live things with a type of certainty... but not this time. KJ people call me, and if you ask me why... i shall explain. but yes friends, from now on referr to me as k_jay arite? thank you kindly.
all the people in my life impact me in so many ways, and i love you all. esp my niggas.... you know who you are! anyway, KJ is trying to h ave a blast, but at times i dont. we should all go out one day.
yesterday, hearing someone's voice just made everything so much better, but yet alot worse.
anyway, im out... gotta go call someone up, pick my sister at UCR, and then chill with my nigga PIMPaulo.

thnx for the convo V_thaNG, you make me laugh and stuff. and to everyone else out there. much love. for one day we shall all rejoice in our happiness. just now, the devil is trying to bring me down... peace out nigga LATE! -kj

::wonders.... what does the future have for me? every summer i seem to lose the closest people to me... eh!::


CHRiS blogged on 9:37 AM

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{Saturday, July 17, 2004 . }

i dont know why i said what i did earlier.. but whatever, right now im just trying to get over. i hear stuff and dont know, i dont really care, but i have to talk to her one last time... just to clear some shit off of my chest. right now my hommie pat is over and we just kickin it, helps to know that at least he is down... thanks
 
im getting better, thanks guys!
 
ON_E


CHRiS blogged on 1:16 AM

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